I Don’t think That’s Rain

So I really did have every intention of getting back to my groove this week. Unfortunately, I’m dealing with some things that require a lot of emails! All my time has been spent writing said emails! As much as I enjoy writing my blog some things trump enjoyment.

My first crisis of the week involves Lakeview middle management staff member Mary J. She is convinced that I’m a spoiled brat who will say anything to get my way. She thinks that I randomly decide I don’t like people, for no reason, and I need to be taught that I can’t always get my way. To accomplish this, she has begun refusing simple things, that don’t affect her or other staff members at all, for no other reason than it’d be giving me my way!

I pointed out that my situation is inherently going to be different from anything she’d be basing these assumptions on for one big reason. I don’t dislike people for the same reasons as everybody else in the world at this point in my life. I don’t dislike these people because we have different senses of humor. I don’t dislike them because they aren’t “cool” or because they listen to different music than me. I understand the difference between friend and staff; you can be friends with your staff but it isn’t required to do the job. I understand that!

I dislike working with certain people because they can not, for whatever reason, do the job when it comes to me. I don’t expect special treatment but I do expect individual treatment. Just because a staff member can work with other clients doesn’t mean they can work with me. I am harder and not just because of my attitude. I can’t speak well so I can’t just ask for what I need. This means my staff needs to be observant. I try to express my needs nonverbally as much as I can. I do try verbally as well but they need to be logical about it. For example: I’m probably not trying to have a conversation about a Sesame Street character so if you hear “Elmo” I’m probably saying “elbow”. They need to have common sense. For example: if I take off my glasses and hand them to you, I probably need you to do something with them. I’m not asking you to just put them right back on my face for me! If I say, “All the way up” regarding pulling up my pants it’s not code for “Please give me a wedgie”. (these things have actually happened I’m not just pulling out random scenarios) They need to be able to take direction when it’s given but also form independent thoughts when it’s not. I can’t type to explain every step, of every routine, every day.

Then, at approximately 3:05 yesterday, I overheard Mary in the hallway. She was confronting a staff member for trying to help me. Her exact words, “that’s her manipulating people into giving her, her way.” She was actually chastising a caregiver for being willing to give care because it didn’t play into her endlessly childish power struggle.

So Okay. Yes. I admit it. Obviously I like to get my way but not just for the sake of just getting my way. Everything I ask is for a legitimate reason. How does it make sense to deny it for no other reason than it’d be me getting my way? Especially when the other people, that actually effected, already said okay! I’m not a child, I don’t need to be disciplined. I’ve already learned I can’t always get my way; it’s when it’s for NO OTHER reason than BECAUSE it’s my way that pisses me off.

I haven’t gotten a response yet. I can’t wait until I do!

The second crisis involves Social Security, Community Care and rep payee issues… again!

Community Care will only allow CC payments online if you sign up for direct withdrawal. I am not okay with having the government take money and learning about how much after the fact. I’ve seen the speed of this particular bureaucracy and I’m not impressed. When, not if, when they over-charge me it’d be months before I saw a refund. I’d be screwed until then because I’m on a very small, limited income. So, I asked a lot about CC payments. I guess we live in an age where people can set up their cell phones to accept credit card payments but it’s beyond the technology of the state of WI. My disability prevents me from writing checks. My bank exists online so if I get money orders they cost money. Instead of updating their archaic system, Community Care has me on an allowance of $100 per month! I’m supposed to live on this, while buying my own groceries. Since they serve school cafeteria food here I will not eat it. That doesn’t stop them from charging me $200 a month for it though!